As I was preparing to turn in my mission papers, I couldn't have been more excited. I was caught up in trying to guess where I would be going and the preparation of submiting my papers. After I got back to Oklahoma and had my call sitting on my counter for days before I could open it, the anxiety set in. I thought that I was mostly scared about finding out where I was going to be called. I thought that once I opened my call, the fear would leave. I was wrong. It didn't. It got worse.
After opening my call I realized that I would be traveling to a place far away from my family where people live very differently from the way I live. I would be speaking a language that I struggle with and I wouldn't know anyone. I felt completely inadequate and I was so scared. I felt like maybe serving a mission wasn't the right thing for me to be doing. I desperately wanted to serve a mission so I put my trust in the Lord and his call for me to serve.
A quote from Elder Holland kept coming to mind which says, "If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted in it and lived for it, it is right now."
I knew that I had received answers to my prayers about serving a mission, so I decided to just keep moving forward. I continued my mission preparation hoping that my fears would subside--and they did.
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